Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
