I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Randomize
