Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
They are going to name an STD after you.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
