is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
