HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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