i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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