hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
