You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The beer is more important than you right now.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
