How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
