this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
honey bunches of taint.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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