Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
My bed is full of blood and feathers
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
