You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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