Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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