Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
