Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
