please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
