I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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