i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
