Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
