Plan B is the new Plan A
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
