the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
