i think i have herpe
just one?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
