the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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