We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
