I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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