I'm going to jail i love you
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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