Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
