You can't motorboat a personality
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
