He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
