is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
