Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
