We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
