in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
