no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
