I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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