how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
