so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Randomize
