the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We are all done wearing pants today
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
