So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
