Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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