I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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