Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I am naked and annoyed.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
