Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
