Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
