If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
