Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
