I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We need to get me chipped asap
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
