Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
