This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
