DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
