I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
