so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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