M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
