After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
